The beer store delivery guy asked if I was of age….I’ve been dealing with him for months and he finally asks if I am age cause he thinks I’m childish….
into the mind of a fucked up girl
I wish I was born earlier just so I can cuddle up with ray Bradbury, not sexually of course, and he can pet my hair while we are curled up on the couch while reading me his lullabies.
So Phillip k.dick can use a ladder to get to my window at 2 in the morning and extending his palm to reveal a fistful of pills, promising me to take me into his world.
To watch H.P lovecraft dig his feet in the sand and let his hand act as a sieve for the sand he continuously lets run through.
To be amazed by Edgar Allen poes pet crow
"I’ve noticed the scars on your wrists, I bet you were just looking for attention."
First of all dickwad, who the fuck points out the scars on other people? I could have made fun of your unibrow but I didn’t cause why? It’s be fucking rude, same with pointing out scars.
Secondly, you don’t know jacks hit about me! I was a homeless teenager who bathed in the restrooms of McDonald’s and sucked dicks so I could actually eat. Also, I was so mentally ill that I had to be hospitalized for months because I required over 200 stitches on my wrists in just two years and I actually cut deep enough to cut through my tendon.
I don’t think it was for attention. I think I was a sick little girl who wanted to die.
So the lesson learned here kids, don’t judge people by their appearances cause u dot know what they have been through.
I just got some devestating news.
Ok, I guess I should start from the beginning.
My older sister, who is about 30, is like an image of me, we look so much alike that we are often mistaken for twins (although I’ve never seen it) and we are really close.
The thing about her is that she’s been an addict for the past 16 years, that’s half her life of doing meth, crack, alcohol and god knows what else. So she has tried to sober up and she lasted about 6 months, which is amazing and our relationship grew because of it which i was really happy about. Then, because a guy broke her heart, she relapsed and started to binge heavily on meth.
It was hard to be around her for the past couple of weeks and I eventually stopped talking to her because I didn’t want to be triggered by her behaviour (i am also sober from drugs) and also the only thing she ever wanted from me during this time was money.
She probably felt alone at that period of time because she ended up getting shunned by my family.
Anyways, my mom left me an email this morning and so i called her, thinking the absolute worst and i was right.
She got sexually assaulted and was taken to the hospital on monday night and I had no clue until just now. She’s in a safe place now but I am more worried about her mental state because she is so emotionally delicate and fragile.
I am ashamed to say that the first thought that ran through my mind was, “Well, she was hanging around with the worst people in the worst areas,” but then I realized what a fucking shithead I was being and quickly remembered that no matter what you are wearing, what you are doing and where you are, it doesn’t give a right for anybody to rape.
I haven’t heard from her in weeks and I feel guilty that I wasn’t there for her when she probably needed loving the most.
I don’t really know why I am writing such personal things, i’ll probably take it down eventually but I just need something to organize my thoughts and tumblr just seems like a safe medium to do so.